When I was asked to write a piece on Motherhood and what it means to me, my initial thoughts on how to answer this were simple.
It means Everything.
I’m probably going to be throwing out all the cliches in this piece but I guess they are cliche for a reason, because they are true and they are relevant. I feel that being a mother was my calling in life, it’s what I feel I was destined to be, and as soon as I became one I felt complete.
Everything just fell into place!
I’m going to tell you a bit about my journey into motherhood so that it gives you an insight into why it’s so important to me.
When I was 15 I nearly died from anorexia, I was told the chances of me having children were next to nothing. I then went on to develop endometriosis and polycystic ovaries which also contributed to my struggle to conceive.
However I met my husband who was extremely understanding but we knew we wanted to start a family together. Surprisingly I did fall pregnant but we sadly lost this baby, we then suffered a further 3 years of pain, heartbreak and lost hope.
Eventually I had an operation to treat my endometriosis and was told it would take 6 months for my body to regulate and then start trying, a month after the operation I was pregnant with our beautiful daughter Bella!
Since then we have also welcomed a gorgeous baby boy. Bella is now 2 and Jack 4 months! They are my miracle rainbow babies. For me, nothing in this whole world compares to the feeling of growing a life, giving birth and holding that tiny precious being in my arms knowing I created it with the man I love.
Something I never actually thought I would get the chance to experience.
I knew in that moment, as soon as my first child was born, life would never be the same.
I had chosen to have children and therefore I knew that I would never again put myself first, their needs, their happiness would always come before mine. I became completely selfless.
It can be quite overwhelming at times, knowing that these tiny humans, that are so so precious, are completely reliant on me! It can be daunting, questioning myself all the time, am I doing it right, is this the best way, should I do this or that, But then I look at my beautiful children, healthy and most importantly happy and i know I’m doing just fine – I couldn’t be more proud.
Going into motherhood I have learnt so many new life skills…… One of which is surviving on little to no sleep, the word “mombie” is how I would best describe myself most days with 2 under 2! I think that’s what I have found most challenging. Going from one to 2 is a whole new ball game. Having to function day to day being sleep deprived is not easy! Days just tend to blur into each other, a routine of nappy changing, bottle sterilising, peppa pig and of course, laundry!
There’s no perfect mother, there’s no perfect child, but I know that in my family, we are perfect for each other. I love them more than anything in the whole world. I will never ever take them for granted and I will treasure every single moment with them.
I’m eternally grateful to Melanie for photographing us so beautifully, capturing the most amazing memories that I will look back on forever.